August 5, 2010

In Love? Wear a Tribal Symbol

Why do they do it?

Good question.

Every person above the age of 37 has wondered that completely original thought since facial jewelry started to come with an "imbedded" option.

Ears, nose, cheeks, ears, lips, chin, tongue, eyebrows, can all become a strange and wonderfully magnificent meeting place for all types of metallic and plastic infection inducing works of human art. (The word “ears” is used three times because there are three times as many places in your ears to pierce than the whole rest of your face combined.)

I often wondered why on earth people of a non-ethnic minority chose to wear bones in their nose and ears. You know, the curved ones that are pointed on either end...sometimes big, sometimes bigger.

Then it came to me. They were simply hopeless romantics.

Yes, the kids walking around jingling like Christmastime in enough metal material to subdue a small country were chivalrous, idyllic, imaginary dreamers.

The cartilage-like matter dangling from their faces and ears meant they were in love.

“Sweetheart, I will love you with every bone in my body.”

Thats what they told their girlfriends. Every one of them, scared that they wouldn't be able to give enough love, added just a few more bones to their bodies.

Notice, no one actually asks these kids why they have chosen these piercings, for fear the individual will take out their iPod headphones and have an intelligent conversation with them, shattering their stereotype of the subculture.

I've had my lip pierced... in the same spot. Three times.

“Why did you do that?” you ask. Well, its like this.

I don't really know.

I'll list responses in order that I think them up.

1. There was something comforting in the knowledge that I was never to be bored again, having endless entertainment there at my lips. It was like a friend just waiting to be played with.

2. After getting it, I had to change the way that I spoke to allow for the irregularity on the left side of my mouth, and after taking it out each time, it threw me off completely.

3. “Dance, Dance,
We're falling apart to half time
Dance, Dance
And these are the lives you'd love to lead
Dance, this is the way they'd love...”

4.The ability to psyche people out when I had it by conversing intelligently with them made my day every time.

But that is the perspective of a guy with one big logical fallacy for a brain.

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